What Questions do You Ask?

Have you ever spent time thinking about how important questions are? Would you agree that the questions you ask people affect what you learn about them, and ultimately what your relationships with them look like? Do you want to be better at asking questions that deepen relationships, build people up, and help them think about what really matters in life? Do you want to gain wisdom from those wiser than you by asking questions about things you are actually struggling with? Do you want to be a better listener? I do.


So I decided to do a little brainstorming. I asked myself the question: "Amy, how often do you think about the questions you ask?" And my answer was, "Not much." Maybe you're the same way.


Sometimes I get frustrated that I tend to default to the culturally acceptable, small talk, conversation opener questions. How are you doing? People ask it when they don't have time to listen to an honest answer. Or they ask it in the middle of a deep conversation, where it can be a good question. What did you do today? Finds out some practical information that can lead to more questions, but keeps the conversation on "doing" and perhaps helps feed our culture's fast-paced, overworked, success-measured-by-material-accomplishments society. Do you think we could learn to be more creative?


There's an "appropriateness" measure that people use with questions, too. If you walk up to a stranger and ask a deep personal question, sometimes it could be offensive. Or sometimes it could open the door to a true, meaningful conversation. It's probably more awkward with acquaintances. Because with total strangers you don't have much to loose. With acquaintances you take the risk that they will think you're too personal, or inappropriately deep. But you take the risk that you could change a frivial "Hi, how are you? Glad to hear it." type of relationship into an actual friendship where you get to know what the other person is actually like, and learn how you can speak encouragement into their life. Are you willing to take that risk to gain the benefits?


So, the best thing I can think of to help myself be more creative with asking questions is to make myself think of some questions. These will be totally random. Here goes:


1. What did you learn today?

2. What have you been asking yourself lately?

3. Do you have a favorite time of day to work on creative projects?

4. What is your favorite day of the week? Why?

5. What is one thing that happened today that you are thankful for?

6. What has God promised you?

7. What do you like to do for fun?

8. Have you read any good books lately?

9. What is something you would know about that you don't think I know much about that you could teach me about right now?

10. How did you choose the career path you are on?

11. Would you consider working for a missions organization or a church if you felt God leading you in that direction? What obstacles might you need to overcome to do this?

12. What do you find frustrating in life right now?

13. What do you wish would change, in your life, or in the world in general?

14. What do you wish would never change?

15. Why do you want it to change/not change?

16. Do you have any fears that you want to get rid of in your life?

17. Do you think God will clear away obstacles in your life?

18. Which person in the Bible can you relate to the most right now?

19. What do you know you need to work on, but you've been avoiding it?

20. Where were you born?

21. What languages do you know?

22. What do you think I need to learn?

23. What do you feel passionately about?

24. How do you know that what you believe is true?

25. What do you spend the most time on each week?

26. Has there ever been a time in your life where you knew God was working without a doubt?

27. Is there anything you've been thinking about lately?

28. Was there anything you've been wanting to ask me, but haven't gotten up the courage?

29. What questions do you like to ask people to start conversations?

30. Are you getting annoyed by all my questions? =D


There are so many more. Are there any questions that you could ask me so that I could use them to become a better listener? Did you find this post interesting or helpful at all?

Uninspired Honesty

Right now, I am uninspired. So why am I writing, you may ask? The truth is, I don' t know. What I do know is that I'd like to become more regular at writing here. And I'd like to be very honest as I write here on this blog.

What if I could actually share what I am really struggling with, rejoicing in, learning? And what if, by being honest, someday, someone, somewhere will read it and face the truth in their own lives? If one person can be drawn a little closer to God by reading this, it's worth it.

So, what AM I struggling with, rejoicing in and learning these days? I am so happy for simple things right now, for beautiful weather, tasty food, being healthy and free and loved. And I am also thirsty. Thirsty for the deeper things in life, the Living water, thirsty for love. It would take hundreds of words to express it all. It seems like I am constantly searching.

Food for thought: What matters in life?

I know all the pat answers. God matters. People matter. Relationships matter. And all the little regularities of life that are necessary for survival matter too; work, sleep, eating, you know. But how do I REALLY live focused on God first? What does that look like? I am going to explore that over the next few weeks. And perhaps for the rest of my life. Because I am determined not to spend my life ignoring what matters most.

I was sitting at a red light...

... and a thought came to me. "I hope the light for that person to my left goes green before mine." Did I really think that? I don't think I've ever thought that before. I'm actually not sure if I thought it, or if I thought it would be a good thing to think. But either way, it crossed my mind and I realized that I pretty much never think that way.

How often do you hope the light will change for the other person before it changes for you? When you're in a grocery store and standing in a line up, how often do you hope that the line will go faster for the person to your left than it will for you? When there's a really good deal on some product and you're one of the last people to get it, how often do you think about the person who is behind you who didn't get it? Or are you happier when you sibling gets the larger piece of cheese cake, or when you do?

Anyway, these thoughts made me think about how intrinsically selfish I am. I thought, "What is it that makes me impatient?" and I answered, "When I am busy or in a hurry to get somewhere." Being busy doesn't necessarily make a person impatient, but it certainly aids the process. So why do I get so busy? Is it because I am a procrastinator? Or because I'm trying to fill my life with "useful" things so that I will be looked well upon by other people? Or is there some sin I'm trying to "make-up" for by being extra good? Or just trying to serve Jesus with my whole heart like Martha, without taking the time to sit at His feet and learn what He really wants me to do? None of these are good reasons!

Ultimately, I'm impatient because I'm a sinner. And so are you.

1 Thessalonians 5:14 "And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone."

Do you think when God said "be patient with everyone." that He only expected it when we had everything figured out and our schedules slowed down and life in order? No. Be patient with everyone. Whenever. Wherever. About whatever. Praise be to God that by His power, we can be pure as snow, and the most patient people ever imagined up! If I try to be more patient, it won't work. But if I sit at Jesus' feet and get to know Him better, than even while I'm a sinful mess, He will wipe that away and give me the power to be more like Him. To be patient. Lord, make me a patient person who deep inside wishes the best for others and not myself! Please change me! Thank you.